He touches me Everyday!!!

During my days at work I usually am upstairs at the computer working on inventory entries! It can get a little mind numbing and so I usually listen to Perry Noble's messages online! I normally plug in my headphones and I hang on every word that Perry says, he is full of the knowledge of The Gospel! Throughout my day I may encounter struggles as almost every person does who works with other humans or machines. My computer won't function the way I command it to, the phone rings off the hook, or my printer gets jammed and I patiently wait for someone to do the paper jam dance. There are also those moments when I have to stop to load a piece of furniture into a clients car or truck which normally leads to moving furniture around to fill the now empty hole. All of that gets me distracted from what I was originally doing, however I always find my spot in Perry's message! Now I am not saying that Perry is a know all, but I truly believe that Perry talks to God and God speaks back to Perry and the words just stick to me like glue!
He adds humor in his messages which keeps you listening and on your toes!
Dear God, you speak to me, more clearly than I would have ever imagined! But more importantly I HEAR you, I actually HEAR you! I listen and cry because you saved me with your words and you save me everyday thru the words spoken by Perry Noble. No matter what the message I am listening to whether it be in archives or his present message I seek you daily and I find you! Lord, when I pull of these headphones the words of the world cloud my vision, I try to stomp on the devil and get him out but sometimes he is stronger than I let you be! Lord God, you gave your son so I can have life with you, you gave us a visual image of pure sacrifice so that I may be reminded everyday of why I am here! God I thank you for the challenges I face, for the triumphs I endure, and blessings laid over me, you truly are a giving God. The love you show me through a message, through a touch, or the sun shining bright upon my flesh, is so amazing and unconditional! Lord God, you are an awesome God and I get on fire for you everyday by listening to the messages online. God my prayer is that that fire will stay lite even after I take my headphones off! My prayer is to be able to speak your glory, your grace, and your love into those I encounter daily!! God thank you for forgiving me for my years of sin, thank you for wiping my slat clean and showing me how to live again. Thank you for allowing me to live for you, thank you for forgiving me when I curse your name or do not bring glory and honor to you! Lord God, thank you for reaching out at just the right time and holding me back, thank you for saving my life! God, you are an amazing God and i thank you for all that you have done and still do in my life and in the lives of those around me! Thnak you for giving Perry Noble the words to say! Thank you for lighting him on fire for you so that he may share your word with those that otherwise may never hear it! You are an awesome God! I give you all the GLORY!

Dresses are like Men

I think that evry woman no matter how thin, fat, short, tall, long waisted, big butted, or small chested we are still worries about the day they go to try on wedding dresses! Well I felt the same way, although I am 5'6", 130lbs, small boobs, and a decent sized butt, I was still apprehensive about going and putting on a gown that essentially will be my "princess" dress! I mean, EVERYONE who is at the wedding is going to be fixated on you for hours. I carefully criticed myself and warned myself that I may put some dresses on and be frieghtened, however I needed to just laugh and carry on because as with men, there are a million dresses in the sea and you just have to find the one that makes you feel complete! The one that makes you smile, and the one that hugs you in all the right places!
As mom and I walked into the first dress shop she warned me that the people are not going to be as helpful as most boutiques because, "well, they're just not." So when I walked in I took it upon myself to brouse and look for what snagged my eye! I pulled out some and felt as if I had been put back into a early 90's bad prom scary movie scene where the girl is running she trips over the lace of the dress, and rips it and that is how the "killer" finds her, and others were just stunning! Mom informed me that even if I don't like it on the hanger it doesn't mean it won't blow me away on my body and to try them on anyways, I mean, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! Going into the whole "dress shopping" mode I thought I had a pretty clear vision as to what I wanted, but as I walked up the stairs I saw on the manican a dress that just made me smile!!! I asked the lady if I could try it on and so she put it in my dressing room! It was stunning, however now because of moms comment about not liking it on the hanger but loving it on you, I was afraid could be reversed!
As I went into the dressing room, I prayed that I wouldn't be too hard on myself and that I would just enjoy the experience with mom. But when I stepped into "the dress" I immediately realized.....I AM GETTING MARRIED! It all the sudden hit me that this is real and as I turned to look in the mirror the dress was just as it was on the manican.....STUNNING! I reached inside the dress to see the price tag because that is just what I do, and when I say the price I just could not get as excited as I wanted! It was way more than I had wanted to spend and I did not want to get my hopes up. When I walked out to show mom, she looked at me with the most endearing look I have seen in a while and said, "WOW, you look beautiful!" I would have bottled that moment up and sold it, it was perfect! Moments like that as you get older don't happen as often as one would like and it just made me realize that as much as this wedding is for Todd and I, it is also for those special moments that I get to share with mom and dad, that I have missed over the years!
I am excited to share these special moments on this blog and journal!

Difference of Opinions

So I am getting married on November 7, 2009. I have to Pastor picked, Tome Dawson of Lifechurch.tv South Campus and now it is time to find a church! I pick up the phone and ask the church if I can use "their" church for my wedding and I hear this....."yes, however you must use our minister and follow our rules." Um.....Okay, really?? So next church, same question...... However this time the response was.. "Are you a member?" I say, "No, but I do attend church regularly and we are very involved." She says, "Well you aren't involved here and unless you want to become a member we cannot let you use our facility." So on to the next church I go...same question. Now the response I got here was the best, I was so fired up that I cannot quote her but something along the lines of "you don't believe the way we do"! To which my response was, "YOU'RE RIGHT, I believe that my Lord and Savior owns your building, HE paid for it with HIS blood when he sacrificed HIMSELF for our sins, thank you for taking my call."

After many failed attempts at finding a church to hold the most important day of my life, I finally got in touch with my second choice Asbury United Methodist Church and they believe the way I do, who are we to say that someone cannot use Gods building to be united as one!!!!

Call me naive but never in a million years did I think that finding a church to have your wedding in would be as hard as it was unless you were an aethist! It was amazing to me to hear so many "other religons" tell me that they would not only not allow us to use our own Pastor but we cannot write our own vows, we cannot add or take away anything for their tradional wedding ceremony, and certainly could not add any of our own music!

So because this was such a rigorous experience I have decided that for the next 7 months I am going to blog about my wedding plans! I figure, not a lot of people read my blog anyway so I might as well post journal like entries about my wedding planning for myself!

Thanks for reading, if you do!!

A day in prayer

Lord, I pray that through this day of fasting you show both my friend Jessica and I the plans you have for our lives! I pray that you soften our hearts to the things of you and not the things of this world! God I pray for Dan and all the work that he has put forth towards tonights BIG SWITCH, Lord I pray that you are more present than ever! God I come before you and pray for all the students who will be arriving tonight for a "concert", that they may leave with you in there hearts! God, I ask that you consume them, that you shut the doors of evel in their bodies and you open a window of faith! God, I believ in your mercy and your power Lord I pray that you fill jessica with knowledge of you and that you speak thru her, me and all the leaders tonight to the students! God I pray that you bring them in by the droves, that you tear there walls down and that you fill them with grace, peace and mercy! Lord I pray that the students that do not know you find a leader and have them pray with them. Lord God I pray for Pillar Lord, that they use their music to show you glory and that students hear it and not only hear the cords being played but hear the words that you are speaking! God I just thank you, I thank you for all the wonderful people that are in my life, God I thank you that I am who and where I am! You have done yet another miracle! Lord, I thank you for the time that I get to spend with Jessica. Lord this relatioship is built on you, it is built thru you, and because of you. Lord God I just lift Jessica up to you Lord, curb her hunger and fill her with your love! Pour down on her your amazing grace!! Lord God I just praise you in all you do, have done and are going to do! Put peace in my heart and help me to stay expectation free! It is in your name I pray! AMEN!!

 We trust that water is going to quench our thirst when we are thirsty, trust that food is going to curb our hunger.   We trust that a blanket is going to keep us warm when we are cold and a pool of water is going to cool us off when we are hot.  We trust that concealer is going to cover that zit on the corner of our cheek! We rely on clothes to cover our naked bodies and shoes to protect our feet.  We believe that the pen we hold in our hands is going to write the paper we have due for class tomorrow and that the computer battery will hold out long enough to type this blog.  But when it comes to our faith and trust in the Lord we seem to only call on HIM when something goes wrong. We fail to praise him when things are going right or thank him for the good he does in out life! He do not trust in Him that he will get us through the day! It makes me sad when I do this because God has given me so many blessings on a daily basis and has so many amazing things planned for my life and I should trust in HIM just as I do in the warm water that cleanses my skin every morning! We all need to remember that God created all the people, places, and things we take for granted everyday! He may not have created the roof that keeps me dry in the rain but he did create the man that built that roof! He make have not created the car that gets me safe to and from work, but he did create the man or woman that created the machine that made my car.  

Lord, I promise to praise you in the good times and the bad, ask you for help when I am struggling and when I am not! I will thank you for all the blessings you have given me and the ones I do not even know about! Jesus, you alone are the blessing that I need and I promise to love you with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength! I pray that i remember to look past the unneccessary things and focus on the important things that are of you and learn more about you daily!! Thank you for the blessings that you have given me! You amaze me!! 

Deep Water Faith in the Shallow End

Driving home tonight I looked up in the sky and saw an amazing moon! It was a bright moon with a glowing ring around it, making it look as if i could just reach up and almost grab a hold of it. With Casting Crowns playing in the background(at volume 24, of course) I heard the words, "I know you're there, I know you see me, you're the air I breathe, you are the ground beneath me. I know you're there, I know you hear me, I can find you anywhere." As I gazed up at the moon and sang those words I felt GOD with his arms wrapped tight around me.  I pointed up at the moon as to say, "I know you hear me, tell me what it is you desire of me." Finding my place in this world is so much harder than I had anticipated but why would I need faith if I knew exactly where GOD was going to use or place me tomorrow! I know that he exsists in everything I just don't understand why I don't look for him even when I don't have a crisis.  Hearing the words, "I know you're there, I know you hear me," was so comforting.  I truly believe that he can hear me and last night when I needed some questions answered I realized fully what it means when people say GOD is everywhere.  

Last night as I laid in bed totally overwhelmed by what the day had brought, I pondered some intense questions.  Sometimes in moments like that I would just close my eyes and hope that my brain would just shut off and go to sleep, but last night I knew the issues were very important so I cried out for Jesus.  I remember hearing Craig Groschel saying "SEEK HIM" the other day in his message so I did just that.  Face down in the pillow I cried for JESUS.  "I need you, I praise you, I thank you, I worship you, I need you, I love you, please come to me. I need you to come crawl in bed with me and hold me.  Lay next to me and let me feel you, allow me to speak right into your ear.  Jesus, I am hurting, I am scared, i am broken and lost, I NEED YOU." After saying this for about 30 minutes i felt a peace and as God as my witness, when I moved my foot over to the left (to find a cold spot in the sheets) I felt an indention in my feather bed and covers that wasn't there before.  Jesus did just as I had asked, he came and laid right next to me and allowed me to whisper in his ear.  The next day he showed me to someone that could answer the question that I had been asking, "why are certain areas of my life suffering when i am doing everything GOD is asking me to do?" Answer: "because you aren't putting 100% in the areas in which he REALLY wants you."  Although the truth came as unwanted words they were exactly what I needed to hear.  I need to make changes to my priorities so that the things of GOD that are the most important don't suffer because of it.!

Finding Grace when Hearing the Truth

For those of you reading this that know me,  you know that I am LifeChurch.tv's biggest fan! I am a true advocate of the amazing things that LifeChurch offers to all they encounter! For those of you that don't know me, by the end of this blog you will want to check out what I think is the best church around! 

There is a place I go weekly that when you walk in the doors you automatically feel the GRACE of God.  You feel his presence abundantly and you feel extremely encouraged!  You're not stepping into a carpeted room with dim lights and candles lite. There are no ushers in suits or ministers in long robes, and rarely will you see men in 3-piece suits or ladies in long dresses but you will see loads of smiling faces and be greeted with open arms! You won't see an unfriendly face and you can almost guarantee to be introduced to someone! You can grab coffee, tea, or cappuccino to drink and chips or pretzels to snack on.  You are offered a mint, talk notes to journal on, and the door is opened for you! All of this is just in the lobby of the place offering PURE GRACE!

After you grab your  "liquid courage" and "comfort food" and yet another set of doors are opened for you, you are welcomed into a room of TRUTH! You are escorted to a seat no matter how many of you there are, just move to the center of the row so others can join you! There are pens there for you to use and music to draw you in! The band plays songs to get you in the spirit and then after 4 beautiful songs speaking of his AMAZING GRACE you just experienced in the Lobby, Craig appears to speak about JESUS!! This is the room of PURE TRUTH! In this room as Craig starts to speak many feel as if he had "bugged" their conversation the night before.  As Craig speaks the TRUTH of God many aren't prepared for what he says or how it is going to affect and change their lives but he does just that!  The passion in his voice and constant look on his face exemplifies the faith he has in Gods word! He speaks PURE TRUTH and explains The Word in 21st century wording! Craig tells us week in and week out that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light and our Father speaks Truth and Grace and that when you hear the Truth from Jesus he is speaking with Grace!  Truth with no grace leads to legalism and grace with no truth leads to society doing as they please with no repercussions!  Knowing the truth will set you free, so listen to the truth, feel the grace of God and share both with those you encounter! And visit LifeChurch.tv to experience more of God's AMAZING GRACE and FAITHFUL TRUTH!

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning.....The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:1-2,14

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed is just a nicer way of saying "the devil is trying to have a strong hold on me today." Well that is how I have felt for 6 days now!! A friend of mine told me that once you commit fully to God and you start making outward signs that you are totally in, on fire, and just fanatical about God, I was going to get attacked hard! Man, apparently I should have really listened to that! I knew that the Devil was going to find me more desirable now but I didn't think he would start knawing already! I mean geez pour some A1 on me first!

I woke up Friday morning with a pep in my step, raring to go and ready for whatever God threw my way, but as the devil tends to do, he threw a stick right under my rollerblade which started a prepetual fall into the middle of the swampy waters of the river! The muddy waters continued on into the night and progressivley followed into the next day! I tried not to let it get my spirits down and flittered on as if I was just fine,  never wanting people to think that I was being held captive.  I want people to see the way that I feel inside and not allow it to look like the devil is taking over!  However, Saturday came and went and I still had a bad taste in my mouth! We tried resolution but there was just no reconciliation! It is like one of those moments in a movie where you see the devil on the right and the angel on the left!  Sunday showed up earlier than planned and this was my day for the glory of God to shine like never before, the day my lifegroup started and yet there was yellow water in my wheaties!! The day just went from bad to worse leaving my with questions! So it was time for quiet time, so tucked in my bed I closed my eyes and said, "Lord today is your day, you have brought me from the rummage and have made me a new creation in you. Lord, help me to see you daily and remember where I have been and the work we had to do together to get me here! There was blood, sweat, and plenty of tears shed for this transformation and nothing is going to stand in my way of letting you shine through me." And at that moment I was off!  

Jesus reigns!! God is full of AMAZING GRACE! Eight ladies showed up to The Deux Krew meeting!! Our very first one, and all of these ladies came together for an ordained purpose! I took a few hours and just spent time in the word, knowing how amazing our Lord God is and after a long text of apology, i closed my eyes for some me time! 

The Devil shows up at the time when he knows he can sneak in and steal you! However God is with you always! Even when it doesn't feel like it, if you give your mind, body, heart, and should to our Lord Jesus Christ, he will carry you! Know that even on those days where you just don't feel like you can make it any further God has your back!! He gives you more than you can handle so that you will lean on him through the rough patches!! 

Jesus you are Lord, as I wake up every morning keep a watchful eye on me, guide me through the day and carry me through the muddy waters! Lord  you have brought me through this far, whatever your will is I am willing to do, you are an amazing Lord and I thank you for my opportunity to wake up every morning! 

A New Year....

As I sit and think about a NEW YEAR there is a bit of a jitter in my tummy! I cannot figure out if is a nervous jitter or just a jitter saying that I get to start over, and if it is a jitter of getting to start over...DO I REALLY?? Do you really get the chance to start over, I mean there are still people from your past that are around to remind you of where you have been and what Good or Bad you have done. There are still those people that went through things with you that can eaily pull you back into the mud! Over the years I have vowed to "start over" as of January 1, only to realize that January came and went as well as the following 11 months and I had still never made a change! I still hung out with the same people, still went to same places, still did the same stuff, spoke the same way, and still lived as if I did not believe in myself or anything else for that matter. However on December 31, 2008 at 11:59:59 I kissed the man of my dreamed and truly vowed, before God, friends, and myself that 2009 I really was going to START OVER! I started first with a belief in my Lord and Savior. I know that without Christ my new life would not be possible! I started with new friends who support me fully, love me unconditionally, and want to see me succeed. I have a new relationship where I have the opportunity to partner with him in my walk with Christ and together we build each other up and help each other grow with eachother and with our relationship with Christ! I got baptized as a new creation in Christ and I am starting over!
So in answer to the question above, YES, you can most definately start over! However, you have to be willing to make the changes that it will take, accept Christ in your heart and allow him to drastically change you! You amy not understand why all that happens to you but in the end all the puzzle pieces will fit together to make the most beautiful picture you have ever seen! So LET GO and LET GOD make the changes WITH you and fully believe that HE CAN!
Faith as small as a mustard seed is still FAITH!